That Which Guides You
by That Girl55
Summary: Kate Fuller didn't fall in love with a murderer and a criminal - she fell in love with the man he had the potential to be. Life's full of choices. AU where Kate goes to college and tries to be normal. Emphasis on tries. One shot.


AU beginning where Kate leaves Seth in season 2.

()()()

Just because someone leaves, doesn't mean the relationship is over. Just because one party jumps across the Mexican boarder into America, just because they move in with a state trooper and his family and cut off all contact with their former 'partner' doesn't mean that the relationship is _done_ , right?

Because that's exactly what Kate did. The first time Seth, drunk and high and angry and tired, raised his fist to her, she packed her things and she ran into the arms of Officer Gonzalez. When little miss Kate Fuller showed up on his doorstep, a duffle bag in her hands and a pulsating red mark on her cheek, he longed to say I told you so.

He didn't, though, and that's why Kate stayed.

Eagerly, she let Freddie place her back in school, she retook her SATs and her standardize tests and she applied to colleges all across America.

When she got in at nearly all of them, she was more reluctant to go. College was thousands of dollars, and she wasn't the Gonzalez's biological child. Kate was a refugee they had taken in on a whim, a child in need that they liked well enough.

But Freddie knew better. Kate wasn't his daughter, but she did deserve a chance at the future she might've had if her family hadn't been taken by culebras. He pulled out loans, called in favors at the station, he got her in at the University of Louisiana.

It wasn't Kate's first pick (no, her first pick was some cheap little community college not far from where Freddie and Margaret lived), but Freddie hoped that this college was far enough from the Mexican Boarder that Kate, under no circumstances, would be tempted to return.

And, for two years, Kate thrived. She made friends, good girls who were in sororities and played softball and had never heard the word culebra in their life. She worked nights and weekends at a high end bar in Lafayette, some nights making more than Freddie did in a week. She brought herself a car, she rented an apartment, she got reasonable grades and she called home every Sunday night to answer Margaret's questions and hear Freddie's worries and listen to Billie's giggles. She was such a good daughter that, sometimes, Margaret and Freddie forgot she wasn't their real child.

They protected her like she was, when the culebras came looking. Margaret and Freddie defended Kate the best they could, but there were too many monsters and not enough weapons, not enough good guys left in the world. The culebras probably found Kate's forwarding address somewhere in the house, saw letters and pictures she'd sent home from the university. Freddie's time for protecting Kate was over, and his only hope now was that Seth Gecko would find her first.

Still, he cringed at the thought.

()()()

Kate Fuller was slightly tipsy when she got the call.

But you couldn't blame her, it came long after offices had closed, after she'd taken her last shift at the bar, even. She'd driven her Toyota to her friend's apartment and was making her way up the stairwell, already taking swigs of the beer she'd brought with her, when her phone rang.

It was an unknown number, and one in the morning, but she answered it anyways. The voice on the other line was unfamiliar.

"Hello, is this Kate Fuller?"

"Yes it is," Kate said, her bottom lip beginning to tremble.

The last time she'd gotten a call like this, it was from the hospital saying that her parents had been in an accident.

"This is child services, Hudspeth County division. I need to speak with you about the custody of Billie Gonzalez."

Kate Fuller's world began to tailspin. The six pack of Blue Moon in her hands fell to the floor with a clang. She sunk to the ground in the stairwell, burying her face in her lap. Tears began to prick at her eyes, threatening to ruin her makeup. Just when she had finished mourning the loss of her parents she was losing her new family to the same fate.

"Ms. Fuller?" The woman on the line questioned. "Do you need a moment?"

Kate paused for a moment.

"I'll be there to get her tomorrow, and we can talk over anything then."

The woman on the other end of the line made a noise that sounded like an agreement, and Kate hung up the phone.

Kate hid her face in her lap again, and this time allowed herself to cry.

"Oh, Katie."

Kate froze at the sound of the voice, one that she hadn't heard in so long. Anger and shock, mixed with fear, boiled in her stomach as she lifted her head a bit too eagerly to meet the dark eyes of Seth Gecko.

She had aged gracefully, time only amplifying her simple beauty, but Seth had not. He was harder, if that was possible. His body stiffer and more muscled than she remembered. He had a permanent tan and the lines on his face had only deepened.

She still loved him, she knew. This man that had hurt her and put her through hell, this man who had killed and who deserved to be in prison right now, not in the stairwell of a historic apartment building.

"I'm sorry," Seth shook his head, looking at the broken beer bottles on the stairs beneath her. "We wanted to get to you before the police did. I wanted to be the one to tell you."

"It was culebras, wasn't it?" Kate said, staring at her feet, clad in stiletto boots.

Seth nodded slowly.

Everything that had given her happiness before - her modest Corolla, her nice leather boots and her good grades, her pride in her job - seemed meaningless now. None of it mattered in a world where culebras existed, in a world where they were chasing after her again.

"I thought I left them behind when I left Mexico." Kate sighed. "I thought they wanted you and Richie, not me."

"Quite the opposite, actually."

Kate's eyes narrowed at the sound of the snake queen rounding the corner, coming to stand behind Seth.

"Seth," Kate groaned. "You brought her?"

"Richie's here too," Seth added, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "They helped me through some stuff, after you left."

Santanico watched Kate with wide eyes. She was only more beautiful now, lighter and purer than ever before, especially vulnerable like this. The lords would only want her more.

She could sense Kate's fear, but also her anger and aggravation. It would be best to keep her distance, but if Seth wouldn't tell his precious princess the truth, then Santanico would.

"The Gecko brothers are part of the prophecy, yes. But you are the key to the prophecy, Kate Fuller." Santanico lowered her eyes in a form of silent respect. "The Lords found out that the Gonzalez's were hiding you, keeping you safe and out of Mexico. That's why they came for Freddie and his family."

Kate's heart sank - she was the reason for Freddie and Margaret's deaths, she was the reason Billie was now an orphan. She had brought hell upon the Gonzalez's, something they never, ever deserved.

"They left Billie alive," Kate sighed. "I go to pick her up tomorrow."

"It's a trap," Santanico said urgently, shaking her head no. "You can't go, Kate. They left her alive because they want you to come to them, willingly. It's easy to lure you with Billie, it's less work for them."

Kate looked at Seth, pleading with the man that used to look at her like she hung the stars in the sky. He had a little brother, he had a heart still - if anyone would understand, it was him.

"Please, Seth," Her breathing was slow, ragged. "I'm the reason she's an orphan. I have to go get her, I can't just leave her there - "

"We'll get her, Kate." Seth said, looking pointedly at Santanico. "We're going to get her."

"You're both fools," Santanico shook her head. There was a moment's pause as she looked between the two of them. "But, I understand. I'll tell Richie to start the car."

Kate waited until Santanico left the room, and then she stared at the man she used to love, at what he had become.

"I'm not going with you Seth." She smiled at him, wiping the dripping tears from her face, swiping her fingers under her eyes to clean up the fallout. "I can't, you know that."

"Kate," He sighed. "Please…"

But he doesn't know what else to say. He doesn't know how to plead with her, doesn't know how to remind her that he is her best option, her safest option. He hurt her - he's unstable and he's angry and she's never stopped loving him, he can see that in her eyes. She's three years older but she's still that little girl lost outside of the Titty Twister, looking at him like he's God and she's starving for faith, for something to believe in.

She wants to run into his arms, she wants to be with him. It would be so easy, so simple. He's breaking her down without saying a word.

But still she sits on that top step, her chest heaving and her eyes darting around the skinny stairwell, looking for some kind of exit, some kind of Plan B because she's tried out Plan A before and no matter what changes she makes the end will play out the same.

She will end up alone, again.

"I don't trust you, Seth. And I don't trust your brother or that snake woman either."

He staggers backwards for a moment, as if she has shot him, but he quickly regains his strength.

"I know I'm not a good man, Kate." He says; he knows he doesn't have to tell her twice. "But I'm good at what I do, I'm good at protecting what is mine. Protecting it from others, at least."

Kate knows what he is offering - a kind of trade. He is the lesser of two evils, and for her three years of normalcy and happiness this is what she ends up with.

No degree, her friends curious as to why she never showed up that night, her boss wondering where she is when she misses her shift the next day. That Corolla she was so proud of stays parked down the street from the complex for weeks before anyone really mentions it, and even longer before one of her friends identifies it as hers. By the time a missing persons report is filed, all of her savings have been withdrawn from the bank and she is already in Mexico, riding in the passenger seat of a dark Camaro, a toddler cooing behind her.

()()()

She can feel Margaret smiling down on her every day, can still hear the sound of Freddie's worries filling her ears. She takes note of these things, writes them down on fast food napkins and notepads with motel names on the top. She takes Billie swimming in the murky pools and she potty trains her in fluorescent pink and green bathrooms.

She keeps her safe, and that's what she's most proud of.

Kate raises her like a normal child, like she was always her daughter - like Freddie and Margaret did for her. Kate raises her to live without fear, and Richie plays with her and Santanico showers her with clothes and Seth gets up with her when she has nightmares.

Kate stays as far away as she can from the culebra business. She knows it's her they want, but she doesn't care to be a part of destroying the thing that has brought down both of her two families. The bible has taught her the vengeance is not the answer, and Kate fears if she let her anger take over it would only consume her permanately.

Seth is all too happy to oblige. He doesn't want Kate anywhere near it either - he wants her at home, in the life she's always pictured for herself. She wants the white picket fence and he's determined to spend the rest of his life making up for the fact that he took that away from her, not once but twice.

Seth blames himself. Kate blames him too. When they fight it's like a thunderstorm, but when they love it's like a tornado. Everyone around them gets wrapped up in it, and it's long and heart wrenching but when the end comes, and it always does, there's nothing keeping them from plummeting fast towards the ground.

Seth tells Kate that he needs her. Kate reminds him of how much better she was doing on her own. She thinks about how strong and how proud he used to be and smiles a little when she realizes that she is his kryptonite, she is his downfall.

He's lucky she's not a cruel person. He's lucky she's a lover, and not a fighter. He's lucky that she has been broken so many times that she's forgotten how to hurt other people.

Seth means it when he tells her that he loves her. He means every syllable, every letter. He watches her with Billie and he knows it's true, he fights for her every single day. When she says it back, it's with less fervor and more longing. She's in love with what he is, but she's more in love with what he could be.

He loves her with his whole being. She loves him with the part of hers that hasn't been injured yet.


End file.
